Kyman love -warning contains profanity,will be updated weekly-
by Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle
Summary: And thats when I fell for the Jew... -KYMAN STORY-
1. Hey Excuses excuses kahl

I am Eric Theodore Cartman  
I am single  
I have a crush  
and he doesnt care  
Thats all that has been going through my mind since our fight... Its always the same remarks and jokes... But it pains me to leave southpark without him.  
Stan has Wendy, Kahl has Bebe, Kenny has any girl he can get, Clyde has Craig, Cristophe has Damien, Pip is a dumb retard, and Butters is a fag, I am alone, I am alone, I am alone...  
Here I am slamming my head on my locker minding my own buisness when Jewface magicaly appears.  
"Cartman give it up already I'm not sucking ur balls!"  
Here comes my comeback like always...  
"We had a deal kahl!" I shoved that paper in his face... This reminds me of imagonation land but not the part where Kahl dies  
"So what fatass!"  
"YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT KAHL!"  
"So what fatass its not like its notorized or somthing!"  
Kahls so hawt when hes mad! WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING!?  
"Uh, Kahl lookie here at your dads signature..." I GOT EM  
"My dads signature! Nononononononono! I am never sucking your balls you fat racist nazi homophobe!" Homophobe?  
"What? Who got sand in your vagina?"  
"FATASS I DO NOT HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA"  
"Oh right, your a jew its NORMAL"  
"DONT BELITTLE MY PEOPLE YOU FAT FUCK"  
"DONT CALL ME FAT YOU GINGER JERSEY JEW!"  
"You know what? FUCK THIS! I AM NOT GIVING YOU ANYMORE OF MY TIME YOU FAT RACIST PEICE OF SHIT!"  
"Holy shit dude what'd you do to Kyle?" Stupid hippie walks up  
"Nunya stan so fuck off"  
"Whats ur prob"  
Like he'd understand  
"The Jew" I said grunting  
"What did he do fatass"  
"AY IM NOT FAT YOU INCONCEDIRINT DOUCHE"  
"Ok ok fuck man Im late for my ride see ya"  
"Right back atcha" I said in a gruff voice as I stormed off...  
But I loved Kahls pretty green eyes  
and his ruffly hair  
and his lips  
and his nose  
and his GO AWAY THOUGHTS  
"Hey Jew"  
"WHAT"  
"Sorry?"  
Kyle stared at me like I was a gooback  
"What?"  
"I SAID IM FUCKING SORRY"  
"Ok ok" He looked dazed "Not normal?"  
"Fuck Kahl stop making me miserable"  
I stormed off and he looked puzzled

I snuck through Kahls window about 3 am  
"Thats mah sleepy jew" I said hushed  
He stirred  
Fucking jew obsessing me at all hours of the day and when I am tired I get no sleep so I must come here  
"Cartman?"  
SHITSHITSHITSHIT  
I stood still till he drifted off and I petted his jewfro. How I loved his jewfro  
"Uggghhhh Im up" Kahl said reaching for his lamp  
SHIT THINK FAST! I darted in his closet  
"Fuuucckkk its early"  
"No kidding" I whispered  
"Okay shower time"  
I snorted  
Kahl opened the side of the closet I was on  
"Fatass?"  
"No Im Opera"  
He laughed  
"Get out of my closet Cartman"  
"No I can do whatever I wa-" Slap  
"I said GET. OUT"  
"But Kahl im claiming my sucking tonight"  
"I said no fatass now get"  
"Not untill you suck my balls!"  
"Kyle Bubbie what wro-" Fuck "ERIC CARTMAN"  
"Hello Mrs. Broflovski"  
"Why are you in my house!?"I knew Kahls mom'd be a bitch about this  
"I am claiming my reward from your sons bet"  
"Oh, Kyle what was this bet"  
"If Cartman could drink 19 shots without puking I'd suck his balls..."  
"And did he"  
"Yes mom"  
"I TOLD YOU ABOUT BETTING TO SUCK PEOPLES BALLS KYLE" Mrs. Broflovski said in rage  
"Well Sheila I guess I will be leaving with dry balls..." I sighed in dissapointment  
"Suck his balls now young man!"  
"NO I AM NEVER, EVER SUCKING ERIC FUCKING CARTMANS BALLS!"  
"Young man you are GROUNDED" Sheila said  
"Oh, Thank you ever so much Mrs. Broflovski" I said in my sweet voice  
"No problem Eric Hunny!"  
"I fucking hate you fatass"  
And thats when I fell for the Jew...


	2. He sucked my balls!

**So anyways here is the next chapter sorry it took so long I am working on another story called Kyman Love so yeah here it is**

* * *

I snuck through Kahls window about 3 am  
"Thats mah sleepy jew" I said hushed  
He stirred  
Fucking jew obsessing me at all hours of the day and when I am tired I get no sleep so I must come here  
"Cartman?"  
SHITSHITSHITSHIT  
I stood still till he drifted off and I petted his jewfro. How I loved his jewfro  
"Uggghhhh Im up" Kahl said reaching for his lamp  
SHIT THINK FAST! I darted in his closet  
"Fuuucckkk its early"  
"No kidding" I whispered  
"Okay shower time"  
I snorted  
Kahl opened the side of the closet I was on  
"Fatass?"  
"No Im Opera"  
He laughed  
"Get out of my closet Cartman"  
"No I can do whatever I wa-" Slap  
"I said GET. OUT"  
"But Kahl im claiming my sucking tonight"  
"I said no fatass now get"  
"Not untill you suck my balls!"  
"Kyle Bubbie what wro-" Fuck "ERIC CARTMAN"  
"Hello Mrs. Broflovski"  
"Why are you in my house!?"I knew Kahls mom'd be a bitch about this  
"I am claiming my reward from your sons bet"  
"Oh, Kyle what was this bet"  
"If Cartman could drink 19 shots without puking I'd suck his balls..."  
"And did he"  
"Yes mom"  
"I TOLD YOU ABOUT BETTING TO SUCK PEOPLES BALLS KYLE" Mrs. Broflovski said in rage  
"Well Sheila I guess I will be leaving with dry balls..." I sighed in dissapointment  
"Suck his balls now young man!"  
"NO I AM NEVER, EVER SUCKING ERIC FUCKING CARTMANS BALLS!"  
"Young man you are GROUNDED" Sheila said  
"Oh, Thank you ever so much Mrs. Broflovski" I said in my sweet voice  
"No problem Eric Hunny!"  
"I fucking hate you fatass"  
And thats when I fell for the Jew...

Now I am stuck in love with a Jew!  
What the fuck  
Is  
up  
with  
my  
mind!  
"Heya Fatass"  
"Hai Kahl"  
"And?"  
"Gimme ur jew gold?"  
"Nope"  
"Suck my balls!"  
"Nah!"  
"Yep"  
"NO!"  
"Now"  
"Okay"  
"WHAT"  
"I said okay"  
"YESH!"  
"Why so exited"  
"No reason just get to the bathroom"  
Okay so heres the deal he sucked my balls! Yessss  
"Oh Kahl! You dirty girl!"  
"Who taught you to suck balls like this!" Kahl moaned when I was done talking  
I froze  
"Stop!"  
"Huh?"  
"You moaned!"  
"No..."  
"Yesss"  
"NO I DID NOT MOAN FATASS"  
"IM NOT FAT YOU FUCKIN JEW"  
"DONT BELITTLE MY PEOPLE THEN"  
"WHO GOT SAND IN YOUR VAGINA  
"I DONT HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA CARTMAN"  
"OH YEAH ITS JUST DUST SINCE YOUR A VIRGIN"  
"NO IM NOT"  
"YEP"  
"NOOOO"  
"Hey! you admitted to having a vagina! Nya nya nya nya nya nyah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"  
Kyle blushed like a redish purple  
Then i noticed him kissing me like he knew who I was by heart  
Then he was rubbing through my hair  
then I WAS petting his jewfro  
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!  
I am seriously confused right now!  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
"Kahl stop!  
"Why"  
"You kissed me!"  
"Ummmmm"  
"Yeah" then I stormed off with messy hair and a look from hell on my face  
"WAIT LARD ASS!"  
"No Kahl"  
"YES"  
"No Kahl"  
"Wait!"  
"NO SHUT THE FUCK UP KAHL"  
"Okay, dont be so dramatic wimp!"  
"AH IM NOT A WIMP!"  
"Yes huh"  
"Fine I'll show you wimp"  
I worked out for months from that day forth  
I am 110 pounds now and have a 6 pack  
WHOS HE CALLING A WIMP  
"Hai Kahl"  
His gaw dropped at the sight of me since I skipped like 2 months of school for this bod!  
"Uhh, Fatass?"  
"Kahl I think we both know I am not fat"  
"Okay?"  
So he kisses me in the hall infront of everyone!  
"...the fuck jew?"  
"Nothing Nazi"  
"OK whatev jew"  
and I love him for the loss of his anger

* * *

**Please Review I need some encouragement to finish, I am sick so I have enough time to use to finish these storys up If you think I should include something then please write it :D -Jasmine-Kyman-Cartyle**


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